In the good old days, a married couple simply slept in separate beds. Now separate rooms are all the rage in America.
NY Times: To Have, Hold and Cherish, Until Bedtime
“At Escala, a condominium project in Seattle, a quarter of the 270 units have double master bedrooms, said John Midby, a partner in the development. In St. Louis County, Dennis Hayden, president of Hayden Homes, said that each of the 30 detached homes in his latest planned community would have two separate-but-equal bedroom suites.
Kristen Scott, an architect in Seattle, said about one-third of her empty nester clients asked for separate bedrooms, which can cost a few thousand dollars to more than $100,000. In Honolulu, Nancy Peacock, an architect, said her clients increasingly requested ‘punees,’ as daybeds are known in Hawaii — sometimes on the lanai, the covered porch of the house.
In St. Louis, Carol Wall, president of Mitchell Wall Architects, said that three or four years ago her company began ‘doing a lot of these little rooms off the master bedroom where the snorer would go.’ More recently, couples, including some in their 30s, have started asking for two master suites, ‘and we don’t ask any questions, Ms. Wall said.
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‘Couples today are writing their own script, rewriting how to have a marriage,’ said Pamela J. Smock, a University of Michigan sociologist. ‘The growing need for separate bedrooms also represents the speed-up of family life — women’s roles have changed — and the need for extra space eases the strain on the relationship. If one of them snores, the other one won’t be able to perform the next day. It’s nothing to do with social class, and it’s not necessarily indicative of marital discord.’
Nevertheless, Professor Smock said husbands were less willing to change familiar patterns.
‘Men are supposed to be one, dominant, and two, sexual,’ she said. ‘Their wives might be thrilled to have their own bedroom, and see it as a romantic thing — going back to their romance, going back to dating, to intimacy, but the husband might not see it that way.
‘As a social pattern, this could increase,’ she continued. ‘A lot of people I know fantasize about living in the same apartment building as their husband — but in a separate apartment. That could be next’.”
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This article or journal, whatever it is has been very helpful. It’s true that I see it as romantic and all that jazz and that my boyfriend hates the idea of two bedrooms. Sometimes I need my space as well and he’s not uderstanding that although I love being with him, I would like to have my own personal zen zone. He thinks it makes him look as though he is,with much respect, a homosexual. Maybe that’s how other guys take it as well.. or why do you think they get angry and upset?